THE MENACE OF TALCUM POWDER

It appears to me that modern American culture has degenerated into a hog-calling contest with people chanting “Sue! Sue! Sue! Sue!” (When I lived on a farm as a child we called the hogs by yelling “Sooey!”) I mentioned in an earlier blog post that I had gotten an invitation to join a class action lawsuit against New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. The heinous crime they were guilty of? They didn’t make it clear enough that the modest fee they solicited from entrants into the museum was a voluntary contribution and that admission was actually free.

Now I’ve gotten another invitation to join a class action lawsuit. It seems that somebody thinks talcum powder causes ovarian cancer. Somehow the lawyers handling the suit arising from this health menace found out I had bought some talcum powder. I applaud their industry in ferreting out this fact. If they had investigated a little further they would have discovered that I don’t have ovaries.

Perhaps I am being unfair. It is possible this law firm contends that talcum powder poses other health risks in addition to ovarian cancer. All I have to do to find out is click on the icon that says "Click here for more information." I clicked on the icon that says "Move to spam folder" instead.

I half expect that someday I will receive an invitation to join a class action lawsuit against God because he kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden.

A "NO CLASS" ACTION: THE SUIT AGAINST THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART

The Metropolitan Museum of Art (MMA) in New York City requests a donation of $25.00 to enter and view the exhibits. You can get in on a donation of $0.01. Somebody doesn't think that the MMA makes this fact clear enough, and this lack of clarity constitutes a fraud upon the public. So we have a class action lawsuit filed against the MMA for heartlessly taking advantage of the public. People who were duped into paying $25.00 ought to get a refund of some sort, and some heroic lawyer has undertaken to avenge the wrong done them. I am one of those poor benighted souls who were "duped" by the MMA. If I am awarded anything as a result of the lawsuit, I will refund the money to the MMA, as I feel $25.00 is a mere pittance of an admission fee to get in to see their exhibits.

I have been the "beneficiary" of several class actions over the years, and I just got notice that another nameless lawyer has filed a class action suit on my behalf for some wrong that I never knew had been done to me. I expect to receive as much compensation from this latest class action as I have from all the previous class actions "won" on my behalf--$0.00. The only people who win class action lawsuits are the lawyers who file them, and they win them by having the courts award massive legal fees to be paid by the defendants of class action lawsuits.

Class action lawsuits were intended to avenge wrongs upon the public where individual damage is too small to make it economically feasible for a single individual to file a lawsuit. What they have become is a vehicle for making class action lawyers rich. Since the victims in class action lawsuits are supposed to be the public at large, it seems to me that the US Attorney General or the Attorneys General of the several states ought to be tasked with the responsibility of pursuing such lawsuits. In this way, instead of enriching private lawyers, the legal fees awarded in such cases would go into the public coffers. It's just an idea.