POLITICAL MUDSLINGING

My grandfather was always involved in politics in some way or another, and his activity had a profound influence on me. When I got my driver's license, I used to chauffer him around Union County as he canvassed for votes, and later he gave me a job running the sound equipment for the political speakings held by the Democratic Committee in our small county. The most dramatic job he ever gave me was election monitor in a hotly contested city election he was involved in. Then was when I learned that politics was a full-contact sport, as there were all sorts of behind-the-scenes shenanigans going on. Things were so heated that each candidate was given the privilege of putting a monitor in the room where the votes were counted to make sure that the supervisor of elections counted them right. With so many partisan eyes watching the count, you know it had to be right.

I also learned about the anonymous smear sheets that would be circulated in the week leading up to the election. The sheets were usually full of scurrilous lies, but the authors were unknown and the time was too short to mount an effective reply. There was no such thing as Facebook and Twitter back then.

I'm sad to say that the smear sheets are still a feature of politics, but they don't wait until the last minute any more, and they put out much more polished products now. The authors are still anonymous, hiding behind Political Action Committees with high-sounding names which usually include the words "truth" or "fact," something that the sheets are sorely lacking in.

My mailbox has gotten a number of these smear sheets on various candidates, filled with venomous innuendo. And what little fact they contain is so twisted that the truth is unrecognizable. One smear sheet I got the other day had a very poorly photoshopped picture of the target appearing to stand among a group of people whom the authors of the sheet believe to be anathema to North Florida voters. The first thought that came to my mind was "Whoever put this out must think voters around here are too stupid to exercise a little critical judgment." 

It makes me long for the good old days when they waited until the last minute to put out such tripe and distributed it in the dead of night.

CONTEMPORARY POLITICS

Germanic Tribesmen Celebrating a Political Victory

When I was in college back in 19[mumbledy-mumble] I read a description of a form of democracy practiced by wild Germanic tribes living outside the Roman Empire. Whenever there was an important decision to be made, the tribe would gather together with the tribesmen favoring one solution on one side and the tribesmen favoring the other solution on the other. They would then begin yelling. The issue was decided by whichever group yelled the loudest. All you had to do was recruit enough allies with loud voices, get them to yelling, and you could carry any issue. I remember thinking “What a stupid way to decide important issues. I’m glad we here in American have a much more enlightened form of democracy.” Which goes to show how naïve I was.

Twenty-first century America is ruled by whoever can yell the loudest, and the news media (especially video and radio) has a profound effect on who can yell the loudest. You can scream at the top of your voice and nobody will hear you if the media ignores you. But if you are shouting something that coheres with the agenda of a particular media outlet, your voice can be magnified above the sonic boom level.

Something I have noticed over the years, is that when I am shouting, I’m not doing my best thinking. I don’t think I’m unique in that respect; I think it is true of all of us. The louder we shout, the less we think. Emotion is the enemy of reason, and emotion has almost completely driven reason from the marketplace of ideas here in America. The moment a thinker voices an idea, others begin to shout the idea down. Much as Socrates was shouted down when he suggested that people should think for themselves, as Galileo was shouted down when he suggested that the Earth revolved around the Sun, and as Reverend Monsignor Georges Lemaître was shouted down when he suggested the Big Bang,* anyone who voices an unpopular idea today is shouted down by those with access to the loudest megaphones.

As Aristotle said over 2,000 years ago: 

It is not right to pervert the judge by moving him to anger or envy or pity-one might as well warp a carpenter's rule before using it. (Rhetoric, Book 1, Part 1)

Unless we get control of our emotions, modulate our shouting, and start addressing our problems with good sense rather than bad sophistry, we might as well go back to wearing animal skins and horned helmets.

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* In case you're wondering why Rev. Lemaitre's proposal got shouted down, it was because it sounded too much like "Let there be light." (Genesis 1:3). Lemaitre was accused of trying to sneak religion into science through the back door. The distinguished astronomer Sir Fred Hoyle labeled Lemaitre's theory the "Big Bang Theory" as a term of ridicule. How, indeed, could such a well-ordered Universe have come from an explosion?

FLORIDA AUTHORS AND PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION AWARDS BANQUET

Last night my wife, Lane, and I attended the Florida Authors and Publishers Association annual awards banquet in Disneyworld. It was held at the conclusion of their annual convention, which we were unable to attend due to the fact that we had conflicting commitments. We had rented a condo on the beach in St. Augustine and invited the kids and grandkids to come stay with us. Most of them were able to spend at least a little time with us, and the week was quite enjoyable despite the fact that Lane and I caught colds. With all the hacking and coughing, I managed to give my cold to our daughter Laura before she flew back to her home in Columbus. After everyone left, we had one day of just lying around the condo recuperating, and then the next morning we got up and drove back to Lake City, unloaded our beach stuff, loaded up our awards banquet stuff, and hit the road going to Orlando. Anyone familiar with the geography of Florida knows that we did not take the direct route from St. Augustine to Disneyworld and added about four hours travel time to our trip.

We got to the hotel just in the nick of time to shower, dress, and find the convention center. There were only thirty minutes left of the pre-banquet happy hour, which was just as well. I saw one person I knew, and she did not remember me. It wasn’t long, though, before we had met and talked to a number of interesting people. The less said about the meal the better. I found myself wishing that they had gotten the meal catered by Sonny’s Barbecue rather than Gaston’s Gourmet Confections (the name has been changed to protect the innocent). The dessert, however, was excellent. But I have never in my life seen smaller slices of cheesecake. I took two slices and found myself wishing I’d taken a third, but I was trying not to act like a backwoods ruffian.

My book, Prairie Defender: The Murder Trials of Abraham Lincoln, was entered in three categories and it medaled in all three. First, Prairie Defender won a Gold Medal in the category of Biography. I was extremely proud that I didn’t trip over anyone going to the rostrum to receive the award. I did grin like a mule eating briars for the picture, though.

Second, the book won a Silver Medal in the category Adult Nonfiction. Lane had warned me about my silly grin on the first go-around, and I tried to smile normally. Didn’t have much luck, though.

The third category was Politics/Current Events. I was kind of hoping for a Bronze Medal in that category so I could have one of each type. No such luck. The book won another Gold Medal. This time I think I managed a better smile.

We met a lot of interesting people who have led interesting lives, and they all seemed to be quite accomplished in their day jobs. Next year we plan to schedule our beach vacation around the FAPA convention.

It just occurred to me that Lane wasn't in any of the pictures. There are two reasons for this omission. Reason 1: She was behind the camera. Reason 2: We were both so doped up on cold medicine we weren't thinking straight. As evidence of Reason 2, when we left the hotel this morning we drove off and left my CPAP machine in our room. I didn't notice the omission until we had completed our four hour drive and were unpacking the car. Luckily, the hotel called, and they're mailing the machine to us. I'll only have to do without it for a few days.

 

CHESSGI: IMPROVISING SERVICEABLE PIECES

Since I wrote my first blog post on Chessgi (Also known as Crazyhouse Chess, Mad Mate, and Neo-Chess), I have been doing some thinking about the best way to play the game without having to be bothered with cumbersome Western-style Chessmen. As you recall, in Chessgi, when you capture a piece, that piece becomes yours and may be parachuted back onto the board in your service on a later move. The challenge of using a Western-style Chess set is the changing of colors of the pieces as they are captured and recaptured. You need at least two sets of Chessmen, and the constant swapping out of pieces can be a tedious and easily botched process.

I think I have hit upon a quick and simple way of improvising an easily-used Chessgi set. It is much less labor-intensive than making the set I featured in my previous blog post. Caveat: As I describe how a serviceable Chessgi set can readily be made, I am going to mention brand-name products and the stores which stock them. I am not promoting any particular brand of product or any particular merchant. I’m just talking about the materials I used. Similar materials can be gotten from other dealers.

Step 1: Go to Hobby Lobby and buy 40-50 Wooden Nickels (You’ll want some spare pieces for promotion purposes) and a bottle of matte Mod Podge, some artist’s paint brushes, and some rubber gloves.

Step 2: Go to OfficeMax or Office Depot and buy a packet of Avery 1” diameter round labels (Template 6450).

Step 3: Go to http://www.enpassant.dk/chess/fonteng.htm and download a Chess font. There are several freeware fonts on this site, and you can choose the style you like best.

Assuming you have a computer and a printer, you now have everything you need.

Step 4: Print out your Chess fonts, one to a label onto two sheets of labels.  There are only 63 labels on a sheet of 6450 Avery labels, and you’re going to need at least 64 printed labels. You should print at least two full sets of white pieces and two full sets of black pieces. While you’re at it, print some extra queens and minor pieces for promotions. If you’re going to follow the rule that a promoted piece loses its promotion on capture, you should make the promoted pieces distinctive, possibly by putting a + before the figurine or printing the figurine in a distinctive color. Red would be a good color. That is the color of promoted pieces in Japanese Chess (Shogi)

Step 5: Stick all the labels bearing white figurines on the Wooden Nickels. When you have completed this task, turn the Wooden Nickels over, and stick the labels with the black figurines on the other side. Make sure you have the same rank depicted on both sides of the same Wooden Nickel.

Step 6: Mod podge all the black figurines. One coat should do it if you spread it on thick, but I like to put on at least two coats. The Mod podge keeps the labels from either getting dirty or peeling off. Let the black side dry thoroughly.

Step 7: After the black side has thoroughly dried, flip the Wooden Nickles over and Mod podge the white figurines. Let the white side dry thoroughly.

Step 8: Set up your Chessboard, putting White on one side and Black on the other. The board should look like this:

Step 9: Play the game. When a piece is captured, the capturing side takes the piece, flips it over to show the capturing side’s color, and sets it on the side of the board in view of the opponent. On a subsequent move the piece may be re-entered.

This idea is not original to me. Chessgi used to be marketed in the Abacus Wood Box Series under the proprietary name Neo-Chess, and the pieces were cylinders of differing heights with black figurines on one end and white figurines on the other. You can sometimes pick up an old Neo-Chess set on ebay.

TED BUNDY AGAIN

There's a new documentary airing this Sunday on the Oxygen Channel about Ted Bundy. Apparently it highlights his relationship with attorney John Henry Browne, who represented Bundy in some of his legal difficulties out west. I just read a Fox News Article article on the documentary which features an interview with Browne about Bundy. I'm not going to talk about Browne's opinions on Bundy's personality. I do, however, want to clear up some inaccuracies in the article. Browne is quoted as saying:

"He [Bundy] also turned down the plea bargain I got for him. Nobody would ever believe you could get a plea bargain for Ted Bundy, but I did with one other lawyer… He turns around and says, ‘I’m not going to do it.’ That’s when we told him we weren’t going to help him anymore."

There are two problems with this statement. As I recall, (1) John Henry Browne didn't get a plea bargain for Bundy, Mike Minerva did; and (2) Bundy didn't refuse to accept the plea agreement; the prosecution vetoed his offer of plea. I was there for the plea fiasco, and my memory of it varies significantly from Browne's.

I think it was John Barth who wrote something to the effect that everyone is a hero in his own biography, meaning that we sometimes remember our roles in an event as being more significant than they really were. Browne's role in the plea agreement was significant for one reason, and it had nothing to do with negotiating the plea bargain. Chi Omega prosecutor Larry Simpson, Second Circuit State Attorney Harry Morrison, my boss Third Circuit State Attorney Jerry Blair, and I were on the other end of the abortive plea bargain, and if I ever spoke to Browne while we were negotiating the plea bargain I don't remember it. As I recall the subject of the plea bargain was first broached to me by Public Defender Mike Minerva as we had lunch during a deposition break in Tallahassee. I took Mike's overture to my boss Jerry Blair and we went with it to Larry Simpson and Harry Morrison. Mike may have also made overtures to them, but if he did I don't remember it. 

After a lengthy process of discussing the matter with family members of the deceased parties, law enforcement officials working the case, and lawyers whose judgement we trusted, we eventually took a deep breath and agreed that 100% certainty of keeping Bundy off the street for the rest of his life was better than going for the death penalty, losing, and turning him loose on society again. Jerry and I agreed that taking the plea might very well end our careers as prosecutors, but that would be a small sacrifice if we could make sure Bundy never killed again.

As we were working out the details of the plea, Mike Minerva told us that in order to sell Bundy on the plea bargain they brought in John Henry Browne to convince him to take the plea. Would we mind Browne being involved in the taking of the plea? We didn't. If it would grease the skids and expedite the plea, we had no objection. We strongly urged Mike to make Bundy understand that we would tolerate no antics at the plea hearing. Bundy would have to behave himself if he wanted the plea. We drafted a written plea offer which Bundy was to sign, and scheduled the hearing. 

It was a fiasco. When we got to court, Bundy immediately took center stage and began berating Mike Minerva and proclaiming his innocence. As his tirade progressed, I spoke with Jerry and Larry about the advisability of going ahead with the plea in light of his antics. We all agreed that we could not under any circumstances take a plea from Bundy in light of his complaints about how Mike Minerva didn't have Bundy's best interests at heart.

I was sitting next to Mike Minerva, who was in turn sitting next to Bundy. Bundy was standing as he ranted about Mike. His tirade seemed to go on forever. Finally, he picked up the plea offer up off the table in front of him, and it looked to me like he was about to announce that in light of the sorry service he was getting from Mike Minerva, he was being forced to plead guilty. I leaned over to Mike and asked "That silly b@st@rd isn't fixing to plead, is he?" Mike said that he thought Bundy was about to plead. I replied "Tell him to sit his @$$ down, we ain't taking no plea." Mike tugged on Bundy's coat sleeve and whispered in his ear. Bundy looked surprised and distressed. Then he sat down. And thus ended the one of the most painful court hearings of my career as a lawyer.

We couldn't take the plea because it would be subject to collateral attack as being involuntary. Apparently Bundy thought we'd be dumb enough to take his "involuntary" plea; he could wait in prison a few years until the case against him had had deteriorated beyond repair; and then he could move to vacate his plea and walk free.

Which is the second misconception fostered by the above Fox news article. Bundy didn't refuse to plead. The prosecution refused to accept his carefully stage-managed "involuntary" plea.

A third inaccuracy in the article has to do with David Lee, the man who arrested Bundy in Pensacola. Of Lee's arrest, Browne is quoted as saying:

"He [Bundy] gets caught by a 300-pound older police officer when Ted was in the best physical shape of his life."

There are very few Southern law enforcement officers who fit the mold of Sheriff Buford T. Justice from "Smokey and the Bandit," and David Lee was not one of them. When Lee arrested Bundy, Lee was young, strong, and in excellent physical shape. Good enough shape to pound the tobacco juice out of Bundy when Bundy violently resisted arrest. Here is a "Reader's Digest" account of the arrest: Lee stopped Bundy and placed him under arrest for loitering and prowling. Bundy broke free and began to run away. Lee fired a shot at Bundy. Bundy fell to the ground. When Lee approached Bundy and began to examine him to determine if he was wounded, Bundy attacked him. Lee beat Bundy into submission. My favorite photo of Bundy is his booking photo from the Escambia County Jail.