KNIFE CONTROL IN LONDON

They are really serious about stopping violence in England. Despite having confiscated almost all the firearms in the British Isles, the government has failed to prevent the homicide rate in London from exceeding the homicide rate in New York City. It seems that those intent on murder and mayhem have resorted to knives. The obvious solution? Knife Control! 

The Mayor of London has announced a tough crackdown on knives, and the British Parliament is planning on taking up the issue of knife control. The first fruits of the London crackdown have already been harvested in a weapons sweep conducted by the London Police. The pride they took in confiscating a dangerous arsenal of edged weapons was put on display by tweeting a photograph of the seized weapons:

The Streets of London have now been rendered safe by the confiscation of--[drumroll]--two screwdrivers, two pairs of pliers, a pair of scissors, and a file! But strangely enough, no knives.

Once they confiscate all the knives, are they going to go after forks and spoons next? Will Londoners be reduced to eating with chopsticks?

MEMO TO THE MAYOR OF LONDON: You don't have a knife control problem. You have a people control problem.