THE OBAMA METHOD:
Q: So, you say you’re a refugee from the fighting in the
Middle East?
A: Yes.
Q: You look like a big, strong man. Did your wife and
children come with you?
A: No. I left them back home.
Q: You’re not a terrorist are you?
A: No, of course not.
Q: Can you prove it?
A: I don’t have to prove it. I’m innocent until proven
guilty.
Q: Right, sorry. Can you sign this form here, so I can fill
out your entry papers?
A: Sure, can you hold my AK-47 for me while I sign?
Q: You’re sure you’re not a terrorist?
A: Of course not, and if I decide to engage in some
workplace violence when I get to America, you can blame the NRA.
Q: Okay, you’re approved for entry into the USA.
A: I would say thank you, but you are a minion of the Great
Satan.
THE TRUMP METHOD:
Q: So, you say you’re a refugee from the fighting in the
Middle East?
A: Yes.
Q: Are you a Muslim?
A: Yes.
Q: Too bad. You can’t come in.
A: But I worked for the U.S. Military during Operation Iraqi
Freedom. I was a translator.
Q: Makes no difference. You’re a Muslim.
AN ALTERNATIVE METHOD:
Q: So, you say you’re a refugee from the fighting in the
Middle East?
A: Yes.
Q: You look like a big, strong man. Did your wife and
children come with you?
A: Yes. I hope to bring them into the United States with me.
Q: You’re not a terrorist are you?
A: No, of course not.
Q: Can you prove it?
A: I worked for the U.S. Military during Operation Iraqi
Freedom. I was a translator. You can verify what I’m saying by checking out the
following references I have listed on this sheet of paper.
Q: Okay, we’ll run down these references, and if everything
checks out, there’s a good chance you can get cleared to come to the United
States.
A: Thank you.
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