THE LORD CHANCELLOR'S SONG

From the Gilbert and Sullivan comic opera, Iolanthe, first performed at the Savoy Theater in London, 1882:

When I went to the Bar as a very young man, (said I to myself, said I),

I’ll work on a new and original plan, (said I to myself, said I),

I’ll never assume that a rogue or a thief is a gentleman worthy implicit belief

Just because his attorney has sent me a brief, (said I to myself, said I)!

Ere I go into court, I will read my brief through, (said I to myself, said I),

And I’ll never take work I’m unable to do, (said I to myself, said I),

My learned profession I’ll never disgrace by taking a fee with a grin on my face

When I haven’t been there to attend to the case, (said I to myself, said I)!

I’ll never throw dust in a juryman’s eyes, (said I to myself, said I),

Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise, (said I to myself, said I),

Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force to Exchequer, Queen’s

Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce

Have perjured themselves as a matter of course, (said I to myself, said I)!

In other professions in which men engage, (said I to myself, said I),

The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage, (said I to myself, said I),

Professional licence, if carried to far, your chance of promotion will certainly mar–

And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar (said I to myself, said I)!